New Blessings...

In the last couple of months, I have been stressing about two really big things in our life. The first was Matt's job. Many of you have heard me talk about how unhappy he was and we have really been praying for a new job. Anyway - he starts at Commerce Bank on Sept 22!!! He is so excited and we are SO thankful. It is a good job with good benefits and opportunities for advancement and he will be doing what he loves...

The second stress was my school. When we decided to have a baby I did a lot of thinking about school and decided that I knew that I could handle it - School would only be 2 nights a week and I could do that. Once I set my mind to something - I will get it done and that was the attitude that I had. And then we get closer to having this baby... All of a sudden it occurred to me that I do not want to be away from my baby all day at work and then have to be at school for the whole evening. Even if it is only 2 nights a week - 2 nights is too much. So I cried and stressed and prayed and didn't know what to do. I have talked to many moms asking what they would do and still could not feel at peace about an answer. And I prayed daily that He would show me what to do. Then I was driving to work one day and heard this song...

One Life to Love by 33 Miles
He never thought he cared so much about the minute hand
Until he started praying for, a second chance
If he could only do it all again
He'd trade the long nights that he spent behind his desk
For all he missed
He tells his wife, "I wish that this moment in this room was not me dying, but just spending a little time with you."

You only get just one time around
You only get one shot at this
One chance, to find out
The one thing that you don't wanna miss
One day when it's all said and done
I hope you see that it was enough, this
One ride, one try, one life... To love....

She never thought she cared so much about those little hands
That held on tight the day she left
Til she was scared to death
Sitting all alone on a hotel bed, the end of the road
The sun had set on her big plans
To feel young again
She picks up the phone, dials the number, hears that little voice
That's haunted every single mile, since she made that choice

I started crying and knew that I had my answer. And I have had complete peace about it from that point on. It is amazing how God can use something as small as a song to give us the answer that we are so desperately waiting for. And it works out perfectly- School is broken into subsessions and the first ends the first week of October. I was able to drop everything after that point without losing anything. And I don't know when or if I will ever go back. I will cross that bridge at some other time. At this point in my life - it is my number one job to raise my children in the best way that I know possible. It is my job to let them know how much their mom loves and cares for them and would do anything in the world for them. And that is all that I am going to worry about. Everything else will just have to wait.